nobody knows
she nags
she shouts
she screams
she cuddles
she looks at me deep in the eye
she tries to help
she thinks what’s really wrong
use that basis to "support"
she doesnt even know
he nags
he shouts
he cuddles
he looks at me deep in the eye
he tries to help
he thinks what’s really wrong
use that basis to "support"
he doesnt even know
they chill
they hang
they laugh
they try to understand
i dont tell
they dont even know
they’re confused
they’re not close
they’re not far
then,
i don’t know where they are.
i dont intrude into their lives
i dont wana be centered into myself
so i dont tell.
what is going on?
emotions fired up.
becoming a
long,
wild,
scary,
exciting,
topsy-turvy,
looping,
high,
low,
sad,
rollercoaster.
it cant be set back
of emotional downs and rush.
what to think?
i cant control.
OH FUCK! JUST SHUT UP!!!
i cant control them to stop talking
i cant control them to make them
JUST LOOK!
i cant control them to cast them away
i cant control myself to not run.IM FORBIDDENED TO.
i cant control myself to not
shout, scream, or cry.
people will look down on me
people will see pity in me.I HATE YOU!for even doin that to me.
the scars i feel. scratched out.
she asks why i dont tell
she asks why they dont know
she asks what happens
i broke into my own selfish sorrow.
now only she knows what is going on
but she is cant tell
stuck with confidentiality,
nobody will know.
if only they know.
i hate myself for loosing into this
i hate myself for causing all this
i hate myself for not being fun.
and being just centered into myself
im sorry for not being there
when you’re in need
im sorry for not being fun.
im grateful for the
friendship still lasting
after all ive done;
being all just me me me.
and not you.
i just want to run but not hide
i want to party and not side
i just want to make everything be o.k.
i just want to be ahead of everything;
instead of behind.
i just want to do somthing light.
but if i do, i think about it again.
i want to be busy.
but not down.
i cant get busy and not be down.
when i get busy, i get down.
get it?
no, she doesnt.
no, he doesnt.
no, they dont
PARTIALLY, she does.
i still dont.
already so confused.
already in denial
i am not that.
at least not of something
that i want to approve.
unsure….
i dont tell.
nobody knows.
